Are you crazy?
Wow, just wow!
Don’t you have enough kids already?
Don’t you ever want it to be just you and your husband?
These are just a few of the comments I have heard over the last 4 years that we have openly been talking about adoption. I usually don’t even try to answer them when someone asks. Later…later, when I am alone in the car or as I am falling asleep and the last thoughts of the day leave my head one of these questions will rattle through my mind.
“Are you crazy?”
A doctor asked me this half jokingly when I was in for an appointment. A doctor who promises to first do no harm. A doctor who heals the sick, who is with a patient as they take their last breath, a doctor who cares for a beautiful new baby as it takes its first breath. A doctor who should see all life as precious asked me if I was crazy because I wanted to provide love, food, shelter, family for someone who has none.
“Wow, just wow!”
A young cashier at the grocery store who wondered how many children I had based on the amount of food I was purchasing that day. She uttered these words when I said I only have three kids, but we would love to adopt another one soon.
A social worker who was conducting our home study. She was just doing her job. Checking to see if we gave a good reason for why we would want to adopt. If she only knew just how much I worried if I was giving the “right” reason.
“Don’t you have enough kids already?”
A family member who was well intentioned when they asked, but didn’t realize that adopting isn’t about having enough kids. Adopting for me is about giving back something that has been given to me. Unconditional love and acceptance.
“Don’t you ever want it to be just you and your husband?”
Honestly I think I asked myself this question. The answer is no I don’t ever want it to just be the two of us. I want our house full of love and children and grandchildren for as long as absolutely possible. The two of us love kids, and we love each other. Besides that what exactly would we do all day when its just the two of us? I have no idea, but I know that it will not be anything as rewarding as investing in a child and their future.
So why are we adopting?
Because God called us to it. It really is that simple. Jody and I have been married for 22 years, and I knew from the start that we would adopt. Over the past 22 years each of us has talked about adopting, but we were never interested at the same time. That was until about 4 years ago. God kept putting the idea in my mind and the burden on my heart. To be honest I fought it. I was scared. I was scared about what it would bring in to our home. I was scared that someone would say I wasn’t good enough. I was scared I was getting too old. I was scared I would get hurt. So I prayed. I didn’t pray some profound prayer of acceptance instead I prayed that God would take this desire from me. I prayed that He would make this feeling go away. But He didn’t. No, instead he opened doors.
I don’t believe that anything is a coincidence. Everything happens for a reason. Skip forward a little bit and Jody and I decide that there are plenty of kids domestically who need good homes. So we start the paperwork process with our state and that process takes right around one year to complete, and we get approval to adopt. So somewhat naively we wait, knowing that any day we would get the call, and we wait, and we wait, and we email, and we call, and we wait, and a year passes and not one call, not one email about a child that could be a match. My fears are confirmed. I am not good enough, so I prepare to close the door.
Through what we now know was a series of divine appointments I got the pleasure of meeting a sweet 10-year-old boy from the Eastern Europe who was here over Christmas break through a hosting program that brings orphans to the USA in hopes that they will meet a family who might want to adopt them. I remember the first time I meet B. We had just walked in for my son’s tutoring session, and this sweet dark-haired boy was staring at us all wide eyed with a huge grin on his face. He spoke little to no English and he wanted desperately to stay in the room with us so he could be near his host “mom.” When we left our appointment we got in the car and drove 45 minutes home and I cried the entire way.
Why do I want to adopt?
Because I love him. I loved him before I even knew who he was. I love him because God put this beautiful child in my heart. I love him just like I loved my biological children before I knew them. It is very strange and lovely, and real. I want to adopt because it is the only way I can bring my child home.
How can you help us?
Pray. Pray that the home studies, adoption agency forms, foreign dossiers, government processes, and every other hurdle is overcome…quickly. If you’d like to help with any of the expenses related to this adoption, we are also fundraising to offset some of the costs. We have a GoFundMe site and a site where you can purchase an #Adoption t-shirt.
We plan to share updates on this blog about this process as we go forward, so it can be an inspiration and a resource for others who feel the same calling in the future.